I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
