i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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