If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
