whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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