Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
