so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
