what day is it and did you see me today?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize