3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize