I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
