True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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