just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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