Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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