FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
