you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize