that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
