Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
