yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
