I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
