Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
