He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
