I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
