let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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