I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize