I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
