my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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