Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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