That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
