so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
