So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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