5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
