Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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