are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
