I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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