I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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