i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize