Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
