I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
