Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think i have herpe
just one?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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