my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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