i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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