I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
