that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
