my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
