Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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