i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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