I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
