I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
