his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
