I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
