sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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