My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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