did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
