exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
