What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
