Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize