Sry I called you an 8
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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