i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
