Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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