i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
