I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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