1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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