yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
