NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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