do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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