so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
