Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
