maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
